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What Is Charm? Listen to the description of charm by someone who did not expect it and may have been resistant to its effect before succ...

How to Speak to Win: How to Present with Power in Any Situation !!


What Is Charm?
Listen to the description of charm by someone who did not expect it and may have been resistant to its effect before succumbing: … [H]e projected a totally ‘in the moment’ focus on each person he met…. [H]e exuded warmth; he seemed a man genuinely interested in liking you, and not concerned with whether or not you liked him. How much of that was genetic and how much developed I can only speculate. All I know is that I was, in that brief moment of meeting, totally charmed by a person I neither agreed with nor even expected to like. These remarks are by professional speaker Mark Sanborn, commenting on meeting President Bill Clinton.
When we refer to charm, we’re not talking about table manners, good looks, or being a snappy dresser; we’re talking about something much more profound. True charm is something that goes beyond mere appearance. It’s that ability some people have to create extraordinary rapport that makes others in their presence feel exceptional. Charm has an engaging quality to which we respond powerfully and emotionally, almost instinctively. Nature or Nurture? You might be saying to yourself, “But you have to be born with charm, and if you’re not, you’re out of luck!” We used to believe that too, but in all the many years that we have researched, experimented with, and taught the art and craft of person-to-person communication, we have found much evidence to the contrary. There’s no question that some people are naturally charming, which gives them an advantage. But charm is not some mystical ingredient that is found in our genes. Charm is the result of using specific skills that most of us know little or nothing about. This means charm can be learned. In the pages ahead, you will learn how to become a completely charismatic person, exerting a magnetic attraction and influence on the people you meet.
Your Tools for Charming Others From now on, think about charm as a personality quality and skill you can develop by doing the things that charming people do and being the kind of person that charming people are.
Charm in Action 
Ron Arden relates this personal story as a testament to the power of charm: It was back in the seventies that my awareness of the power of charm really took root. A friend of ours in Los Angeles phoned to invite my wife Nicky and me to a reception for Ivan Berold and his wife Maryanne. They had recently arrived here from South Africa. Ivan, a handsome devil and a good actor and friend, is someone I had known during my theater days in South Africa. We arrived at their home that Saturday afternoon and...
joined the crowd in the garden. People were milling around the bar and, of course, Ivan and Maryanne. We greeted each other warmly and then the four of us proceeded to “fill up” at the inviting buffet tables. Later that afternoon I saw Nicky and Ivan talking to each other, and I noticed that my dear, normally levelheaded wife seemed entranced by him. I thought, “What on earth is going on? She’s behaving like a teenybopper.” An irrational pang of jealousy shot through me and I hurried over to join them. The Power of Fascination Soon after, I said to Nicky, “What is so fascinating about Ivan that you looked mesmerized by him?” She thought for a moment and said, “When he speaks to you, it’s as though you’re in a cocoon with him. No one exists in the world for him but you. And when he listens, he listens as though every word you say is important and needs his undivided attention.” When I thought about it, I realized she was absolutely right. Ever since I’ve known him, he has displayed that same quality when he’s with anyone. He radiates charm continuously. That’s why Ivan is very much a lady’s man and very much a man’s man, too. A Lifelong Interest Leads to These Simple Rules Though this event happened more than twenty years ago, I remember it like it was yesterday. As my dear wife reminds me, my first deep interest in charm seemed to happen about then.
And my interest grew. I set about studying and identifying the behaviors that all people of charm use. I questioned many of these individuals to get an idea of how they feel about their impact on others. One of the fascinating things I discovered was that those who charm get great pleasure in giving others pleasure. I set about reducing what I had learned into identifiable and manageable lessons, each lesson having its own set of simple rules and techniques that are easy to understand and just as easy to learn and to do. Brian Tracy and I have successfully trained many others to use these skills, whether for professional or social reasons, and now you, too, can learn how to control the dynamics of your own impact on people. Once you discover how to wield the power of charm, you’ll have at your disposal one of the most valuable elements for success— how to make people feel like a million. Your Tools for Charming Others Think of the most charming person you know. Observe the person’s behavior. Try to identify what he does when being charming. Watch the effect it has on others and use what you observe and learn as motivation to become, in your own way, just like your model—charming, persuasive, and admirable.

What Charm Can Do
Charm is captivating. Just as the petals of a flower unfold and open to the warmth and light of the sun, so do we unfold and open to the enchantment of charm. Charm acts as the Great Attractor, drawing us toward its magnetic source.
Those who have charm usually get listened to and often get extra chances. They are given opportunities others may never get. They can be forgiven for things others would be crucified for. They will be told things that others may never hear. People make excuses for them, go out of their way for them, and always give them the benefit of the doubt. Let’s face it, you probably know someone who has reached you in a very compelling and profound fashion. If so, you’ve been on the receiving end of someone’s charm offensive.

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